RELATED SEARCHES
Sponsored Fourth July Results:
Bubbas Guide To The Fourth Of July
By:
Published: August 22, 2006
On July 4th, 'bout 100 years ago, America's four-fathers declared that our country wanted freedom. So a man goin' by the name Thomas Jefferson wrote our country's Declaration of Independence and America eventually won it's freedom from the French.
Every summer Americans celebrate this proud day with patriotic parades, barbecues, and blowin' stuff up.
On the morning of July the fourth, I wake up salutin' my flag and I get ready to celebrate the greatest holiday in this here country. First I put on my most patriotic apparel: my favorite Levi's, my shiny American flag belt-buckle and my American flag shirt. Oh and I can't ferget my authentic Stetson cowboy hat, hang'n on the deer antlers by the stuffed 'coon head in ma's kitchen.
Round here, we's got plenty of festivities to celebrate the holiday. First thing is the annual Marching Jug Band parade. Some of our finest jug musicians walk the streets tootin' this countries national anthem loudly and proudly. Followin' them is a long line of pick-up trucks, tractors, and red white and blue painted cows, all wavin' Old Glory high in the air. During the parade you'll hear folks hootin' and hollerin' or shootin' their guns off salutin' this country the only way they know how. After the parade, everybody gathers round the trailer park for the best barbeque of the year.
"Aint nothin' like the smell of meat on the grill..."
To get yer barbeque started you gotta get yer grill set up. Now us simple folk aint all about fancy gas burner grills with separate stove tops and all that. All wes need for a grill is a pit, some charcoal, the grill to your truck, some matches, and lotsa lighter fluid. Just make sure that yer firework supply aint too close by cuz you wouldn't want to be startin' the show early. Down here we like to grill everything we get our hands on, meat, dear, corn and other veggies. An fer you regular folks we got yer basic burgers, chicken and pork chops. But fer some real Southern grillin' we's got's grilled possum, grilled raccoon and your choice of breaded or grilled armadillo. My favorite's a grilled armadillo burger with some hot sauce and grilled onions. That's a real Southwestern treat. Aint nothin' like the smell of meat on the grill to remind you how great this here country is.
"...we usually get our paws on some real fireworks like Tijuana Trailblazers or what we like to call Redneck Rockets."
After the BBQ when everybody's good and stuffed comes my favorite part of the holiday, fireworks. For most folks Fourth of July fireworks are handled by trained professionals, but we like to handle things ourselfs. Problem is only fireworks you can get from the store only got the legal amount of 50mg of explosive powder which is about as loud as poppin a balloon. Luckily, we don't live to far off the Mexican border so we usually get our paws on some real fireworks like Tijuana Trailblazers or what we like to call Redneck Rockets. You can get a whole gross of them suckers for only $13. That there's enough explosives to blow California right off the map, which aint a bad idea if you ask me. Course you gotta be careful when handlin' explosive devices. One time my uncle Henry nearly lost an arm holdin' on to an M-80 fer too long. He threw it out his Chevy just in time to save his arm, an didn't even spill his beer. Round 'bout midnight, we each get ourselves a handful of rockets and let'em soar through the sky like the patriotic comets they are.
So this here Fourth of July, you's hoist those flags up, fire up those grills, and light up them there fireworks. An be sure to remember why we celebrate this great holiday; cuz America loves blow'n stuff up in the name of freedom!
On the morning of July the fourth, I wake up salutin' my flag and I get ready to celebrate the greatest holiday in this here country. First I put on my most patriotic apparel: my favorite Levi's, my shiny American flag belt-buckle and my American flag shirt. Oh and I can't ferget my authentic Stetson cowboy hat, hang'n on the deer antlers by the stuffed 'coon head in ma's kitchen.
Round here, we's got plenty of festivities to celebrate the holiday. First thing is the annual Marching Jug Band parade. Some of our finest jug musicians walk the streets tootin' this countries national anthem loudly and proudly. Followin' them is a long line of pick-up trucks, tractors, and red white and blue painted cows, all wavin' Old Glory high in the air. During the parade you'll hear folks hootin' and hollerin' or shootin' their guns off salutin' this country the only way they know how. After the parade, everybody gathers round the trailer park for the best barbeque of the year.
"Aint nothin' like the smell of meat on the grill..."
To get yer barbeque started you gotta get yer grill set up. Now us simple folk aint all about fancy gas burner grills with separate stove tops and all that. All wes need for a grill is a pit, some charcoal, the grill to your truck, some matches, and lotsa lighter fluid. Just make sure that yer firework supply aint too close by cuz you wouldn't want to be startin' the show early. Down here we like to grill everything we get our hands on, meat, dear, corn and other veggies. An fer you regular folks we got yer basic burgers, chicken and pork chops. But fer some real Southern grillin' we's got's grilled possum, grilled raccoon and your choice of breaded or grilled armadillo. My favorite's a grilled armadillo burger with some hot sauce and grilled onions. That's a real Southwestern treat. Aint nothin' like the smell of meat on the grill to remind you how great this here country is.
"...we usually get our paws on some real fireworks like Tijuana Trailblazers or what we like to call Redneck Rockets."
After the BBQ when everybody's good and stuffed comes my favorite part of the holiday, fireworks. For most folks Fourth of July fireworks are handled by trained professionals, but we like to handle things ourselfs. Problem is only fireworks you can get from the store only got the legal amount of 50mg of explosive powder which is about as loud as poppin a balloon. Luckily, we don't live to far off the Mexican border so we usually get our paws on some real fireworks like Tijuana Trailblazers or what we like to call Redneck Rockets. You can get a whole gross of them suckers for only $13. That there's enough explosives to blow California right off the map, which aint a bad idea if you ask me. Course you gotta be careful when handlin' explosive devices. One time my uncle Henry nearly lost an arm holdin' on to an M-80 fer too long. He threw it out his Chevy just in time to save his arm, an didn't even spill his beer. Round 'bout midnight, we each get ourselves a handful of rockets and let'em soar through the sky like the patriotic comets they are.
So this here Fourth of July, you's hoist those flags up, fire up those grills, and light up them there fireworks. An be sure to remember why we celebrate this great holiday; cuz America loves blow'n stuff up in the name of freedom!
Featured Fourth Of July Products:
